7 · PAR 4 · 412
Looper · the caddie in your ear
The number.
The wind.
Where to miss.
pin four on — don't be short
“One forty-eight to the middle. The water’s left the whole way, so your miss is right — one more club, aim at the right edge and take the two‑putt.”
George · 148 out · water left
Runs in your phone’s browser. Nothing to buy, no sensors, no watch required. Free tier needs no card.
Five shots, five calls
What George says
He is not reading you a distance. He is telling you what to do with it, and why — the same call a caddie who has walked the hole two hundred times would make.
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On the tee
“Two‑forty to the bunker on the right, two‑eighty to carry it. Driver’s fine if you’re straight today. Three‑wood leaves you 165 in and takes the sand out of the hole entirely.”
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142 out, water left
“One forty‑two to the middle, one thirty‑four to the front. Water left, bail‑out right. Middle of the green, two putts, walk to the next tee.”
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Front pin
“Pin’s four paces on. Play the one fifty‑two to the middle, not the flag — long is a chip up the green, short is a wedge off a downslope.”
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Par 5, second shot
“You can’t get there. Two sixty‑eight to the front and a ditch at two hundred. Lay up to ninety‑five, not sixty — five‑iron, no hero shot.”
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Wind in your face
“Fifteen into you, so it’s playing one seventy‑two, not one fifty‑seven. Take the six, swing it easy, let it land short of the flag.”
then he shuts up while you swing
First tee to last putt
How it works
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01
Pair your glasses or earbuds
Anything Bluetooth. AirPods, Ray‑Ban Meta, the £20 pair in the glovebox. George speaks through whatever your phone is already connected to, so there is no extra device to charge.
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02
Open the page on the 1st tee
Looper is a web app. Add it to your home screen once, then tap your course and hit start. The hole loads before you have your glove on.
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03
Play. George talks.
He briefs the hole as you walk onto the tee, gives you the number when you stop by your ball, and says nothing at all over the shot. Screen stays in your pocket.
No hardware to buy
Works with what you already own
- Any Bluetooth earbuds
- One bud in, one out, so you can still hear your playing partners. George ducks under other audio rather than stopping your music.
- Ray‑Ban Meta glasses
- As a Bluetooth speaker, and only that. There is no Looper app inside Meta’s assistant — your phone does the work and the glasses play the sound, exactly the way they play music.
- Apple Watch, alongside
- No watch app yet. Your watch will show the audio controls and let you pause George; it will not show you a yardage. That is the honest position today, and it is the next thing on the list.
- A laser, if you carry one
- Use it. GPS gets you the hazard numbers and the strategy; a laser beats it on the exact flag. They are not in competition with each other.
Coverage
Your course isn’t mapped? Tag it in ten minutes
Most UK courses already have their outline in OpenStreetMap, so Looper can usually give you a centre‑of‑green number on day one. What it will not have is your club’s ditch, the bunker they added last winter, or where the tee actually plays from.
The tagger fixes that. Walk the hole, stand on the spot, tap. Tee, green centre, front and back edge, each hazard with its side and its carry. Around thirty seconds a hole, and you only ever do it once.
Every hole carries a label so you know what you are trusting: surveyed where the geometry came from a proper survey, community where a member walked it in. George says which one he is working from if you ask him.
nine holes on a quiet Tuesday evening does the whole course
Before you ask
Straight answers
How accurate are the yardages?
Phone GPS is good to roughly ±5 yards when you are standing still in the open, and worse under trees or against a clubhouse wall. That is fine for hazard carries and strategy, and it is not a laser. If you carry a rangefinder, laser the flag and let George do the rest.
Looper always tells you what it is measuring to — centre of green, front edge, the near lip of the bunker — rather than pretending every number is to the pin.
Does it work with no signal?
Yes for the golf. The course geometry downloads when you open the round and stays on your phone, and George’s hole briefs are cached before you tee off, so he speaks with the phone in aeroplane mode.
Live wind needs a signal, so on a dead patch George gives you the number without the wind adjustment and says so rather than guessing.
What does it do to my battery?
GPS and Bluetooth audio both cost power, and four and a half hours is a long round for any phone. Keep the screen off — George does not need it, and Looper is designed to be used with the phone in your pocket. If your phone is older or already struggles through a day, take a small power bank.
Where does the course data come from?
Three places, and every hole is labelled with which one: surveyed geometry, published green centres, and community geometry tagged by golfers using the in‑app tagger — possibly by you.
Community edits are public contributions: they help everyone who plays that course. Geometry you import from a licence that is personal to you stays private to your account and is never served to anyone else.
Can I use it in a competition?
Distance measuring is permitted in most competitions under the Model Local Rule, but advice on club selection and line is not — that is a breach of the rules of golf whoever gives it. So in a medal, use the numbers and switch George’s strategy off; there is a single toggle in settings that does exactly that.
Your committee’s local rules are the final word. Check the card.
Can I delete my account?
Yes, yourself, in two taps, from your account page. It removes your email address, your passkeys, your saved courses and your rounds. Course geometry you contributed to a public course stays, unattributed, because other golfers are using it — nothing in it identifies you.
Can I cancel?
Any time, from your account page, without emailing anybody or waiting for a reply. The subscription runs to the end of the period you have already paid for and then stops. We do not bill you again to punish you for leaving.
Who is George?
A British caddie voice, generated. He is not a real person and Looper never says he is. The full story is here, including why he says one forty‑eight rather than 148.
Next Saturday, with a caddie.
Start on the free tier, on the course you play every week. If George has not saved you a shot by the ninth, you have lost nothing but the walk you were taking anyway.
Open the app £6.99 a month for the voice
see you on the first tee